User Profile

Online journaling has become a popular mode of communication for many people. I know many people who use them to keep in contact with their friends. My journal is different, however, because I have chosen to keep is anonymous while still public. The topic of this journal is a private one, but I deeply feel that others can benefit from the reading of my personal journey. I tell myself that my story is simple, yet as I discuss it further, it seems to just become more confusing.

With my entrance into middle school in the mid-90s, I started developing a sexual attraction for other boys. Being a relatively shy student, I kept this secret to myself through the rest of my public schooling. After worthily serving a full-time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I continued my studies in Special Education at Brigham Young University. With my daunting future lying ahead of me, I gathered up the courage to deal with my homosexual attractions. Since that conscious choice, The Lord has continually blessed me with added understanding of my potential. In my mind, I have two choices. I can choose The Church's lifestyle or the gay lifestyle. This online journal documents my ever-changing and often confusing feelings and attitudes between these two decisions. It is also to help me record the journey that leads me to an understanding of myself. Even if I deal with same gender attraction (SGA) for the rest of my life, the most important thing that I want to do is learn to truly, deeply love myself.

My hope is that through my journal, others may realize that some problems aren't as large as they seem, people aren't always as perfect as they appear, and that faith in God is what keeps us going day after day.



NOTE: Since starting this online journal over three years ago, I have had to disable the comments option because some were vulgar, degrading, and offensive to me as a person and to my religion. Since January 2009, I have now decided to enable the comments option once again so that I may view others' perspective and thoughts on these matters. I am more than happy for others to read my journal entries. This why I have made them public. Feel free to make comments, but please be kind in your words and respectful of the situations and feelings that I am going through. Think before you write. If this is not met, I may have to disable comments again or even make my entries private altogether.